Yesterday was the one year anniversary from one of the most terrifying times I have ever been through…Anthony’s spinal surgery. Of course, we all know, he rocked it. Lately, I have been reminiscing on all the ups and downs of this crazy life. I think my recent lesson is trust…trust the process. This one is pretty tough for a situation like ours because the whole thing is really unfair and I know way harder things are on the horizon. So to suggest trust, may seem a bit delusional or incredibly naive. But here’s why I make this proposal…
For us, and I can only speak for us, every time there is dark, it is followed by light. Every time there is extreme fear, there is comfort and reassurance. And every time there is the robbery of hope, it is followed by some rare occurrence of a small yet impactful miracle.
Ac’s arms are getting weaker. It’s starting to impair the smallest of tasks. As usual, I was caught completely off guard, as if I was never educated about the progression of DMD. Last week, in the movies, AC discovered he could no longer eat popcorn. Trying to be strong and positive in the midst of his unfathomable discoveries has become one my biggest challenges. But I sucked it up, left myself out of it and fed him popcorn throughout the movie assuring we would simply find another way like we always do. A few days later, I came to the realization that an old high school friend I grew up that I had kept in contact with through Facebook, actually worked for the parent company of the X-aR Arms. I reached out to her, connected all the dots and a week later, she and designer of the arms are on their way to Arizona to install the robotic arms on Anthony’s chair. Within a week, not only was Anthony’s popcorn dilemma solved, but a small miracle occurred and once again, just in the nic of time, hope revealed. This is how our life works.
I don’t have any idea if it works this way for anyone else. I can only say, the dark times seem to provide more cracks for the light to shine through. I look around at so many others who seem to have even less hope, less help and less light. I can only speculate that we are very blessed; I honestly can’t imagine why we would be special. Perhaps it’s so we can share our light with others. Either way, I feel compelled by some divine order to look at the bad and the good, and find a way to gleen some trust from this crazy process.
Sunday, February 14, 2016
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
FINAL DAY- VEGAS BABY!
AC had a rough night tossing and turning and asking for things every two minutes for over an hour. I was so frustrated, tired and worried about him I shed a few tears to let some steam off the pot. He put his hand on my back in the dark and said "sorry Mom". It was such a precious moment. This morning, as usual, he woke up grinning ear to ear. Poor guy has been so flexible and adventurous but it’s time for his own bed again. Luckily his smile is so infectious that we all caught it and started the day off with renewed vigor.
We promised we would hit the pool for a while and let his body unhinge before we started our final trek home. He’s been looking forward to the bikini’s the whole trip. The boys have also never had a Vegas buffet so we decided to introduce that bit of gluttony to them. It was fun and soon we were on our way down the road towards Phoenix.
The boys have been amazing in the car. No movies, games or computers. Just listening to music and talking for days. What a total treat for me as a Mom. I hope they look back and have all the memories I have hoped for. I feel so blessed that I was able to take them. My wonderful boss/boyfriend supported me taking the time off and thanks to my new job I was able to afford the trip. All the stars lined up and it was all I had hoped for. I feel incredibly blessed.
My life is intense. And it can be very challenging a lot of the time. I’m not down playing how big some of the things we face as a family are, however, I have also learned that it takes just as much energy to be miserable as it does to be grateful. For every single unfair thing I can think of to feel like a victim, there’s a gift or something great that’s happened to balance it out. I think you need both. And I find that my level of happiness is exactly equal to the attachment I have to either.
When I can stand by and watch life with all its colorful characters and dramas as if I’m an audience member rather than taking it all personal, I’m fascinated and full of joy and curiosity. When things get tough and I can stay in the supporting role rather than the director running the show, I see that things work out and keep changing even without my permission or guidance. I still struggle to stay in this space but at least now I feel it immediately when I’m not and can make corrections to get back on course.
This trip was so beautiful. Even the imperfections. Watching my boys navigate the joys and challenges of the last couple months, I realize it’s possible that when I look back, this just may be the summer…..the summer our boys became men. I could write for days and never be able to express how privileged I feel to be a part of that.
We promised we would hit the pool for a while and let his body unhinge before we started our final trek home. He’s been looking forward to the bikini’s the whole trip. The boys have also never had a Vegas buffet so we decided to introduce that bit of gluttony to them. It was fun and soon we were on our way down the road towards Phoenix.
The boys have been amazing in the car. No movies, games or computers. Just listening to music and talking for days. What a total treat for me as a Mom. I hope they look back and have all the memories I have hoped for. I feel so blessed that I was able to take them. My wonderful boss/boyfriend supported me taking the time off and thanks to my new job I was able to afford the trip. All the stars lined up and it was all I had hoped for. I feel incredibly blessed.
My life is intense. And it can be very challenging a lot of the time. I’m not down playing how big some of the things we face as a family are, however, I have also learned that it takes just as much energy to be miserable as it does to be grateful. For every single unfair thing I can think of to feel like a victim, there’s a gift or something great that’s happened to balance it out. I think you need both. And I find that my level of happiness is exactly equal to the attachment I have to either.
When I can stand by and watch life with all its colorful characters and dramas as if I’m an audience member rather than taking it all personal, I’m fascinated and full of joy and curiosity. When things get tough and I can stay in the supporting role rather than the director running the show, I see that things work out and keep changing even without my permission or guidance. I still struggle to stay in this space but at least now I feel it immediately when I’m not and can make corrections to get back on course.
This trip was so beautiful. Even the imperfections. Watching my boys navigate the joys and challenges of the last couple months, I realize it’s possible that when I look back, this just may be the summer…..the summer our boys became men. I could write for days and never be able to express how privileged I feel to be a part of that.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
DAY SIX and SEVEN- YOSEMITE & DEATH VALLEY
We awoke at 6 am to the sounds of a car booming I don’t know what genre of music on the street below our window. It was so loud it shook out beds and we all woke up laughing. Luckily today we are on to somewhere beautiful.
The drive from San Francisco was great and the boys loved going across the Bay Bridge. We stopped in this tiny town and had lunch at this old saloon. It was the first watering hole in CA that had been there since the 1800’s. There was all this history all over the walls about hanging some men on the tree outside for stealing gold. The boys dug it.
Yosemite was incredible!!!! The moment we hit the park and we saw El Capitan and the Falls I knew I was in love. We checked into our tents in Curry Village and just messed around the rest of the day and evening. It was so gorgeous. Smelled like pine and sitting in rocking chairs on a porch made my soul sing. We met a few families from France and Germany.
It was so fun staying in the big commercial tents. We even got an accessible one which made AC really happy. He could fly around the village in his power chair and we also took the hiking chair so we could access the inaccessible trails. Deedee and I decided we are definitely coming back for a week next year.
After ten was quiet time in the village and you could hear a pin drop. I’m definitely in my element here. I felt so incredibly peaceful and serene and had one of the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had. I think we all did. Even AC slept great, after all the bear stories.
The next morning after packing up we hiked up to see Yosemite falls. It was incredible and we were sad we hadn’t built in another couple days here. Our next stop was Vegas for tonight but the boys chose to stay in the park as long as we could and forego any shows or activities in Vegas. That turned out to be wise because we had no idea what was in store for the day ahead!
When I did the research, I saw it took 5 hours to get from Yosemite to Vegas. Well, that was from the edge of the park! It took us three hours to get through the park. It was an extraordinary drive but it was certainly made for a long day.
It got pretty interesting! Going through Death Valley was another travel moment we will never forget. I had no idea it would be so spectacular. But I also had no idea it was SO windy and steep and that we would need to go so slow. We came down 11,000 feet to Sea level. It was a trip! There were sand dunes everywhere…it was so silently beautiful. At one point though, the brakes were slick and stinking, we were low on gas and we were sure we had missed our tiny turn off. Things got a bit stressful and everyone got a little short with one another. We were so excited to find a gas station/oasis in the middle of nowhere. We fueled up and found out we were actually on track, it was just taking way longer than planned.
AC was a total trouper and Oliver kept pointing out all the good things every time Deedee and I got a little bit negative. Once again, not the most comfortable part of the trip, but one everyone will remember forever. We played would you rather and laughed for hours. As Oliver pointed out, it’s been great family time.
We got into Vegas super late and very exhausted! We decided to end our long crazy day Vegas style and ordered up some decadent room service. It was a great conclusion to a pinnacle part of the trip.
I thought about how everything in our lives go, when it gets a little rough we just slow down and take our time. Whether it’s physically carrying AC or getting through something really uncomfortable emotionally, we just take one step at a time, rest and reboot when necessary. Once we are on the other side, it all looks very different. There isn’t anything we can’t do when we tackle it that way.
The drive from San Francisco was great and the boys loved going across the Bay Bridge. We stopped in this tiny town and had lunch at this old saloon. It was the first watering hole in CA that had been there since the 1800’s. There was all this history all over the walls about hanging some men on the tree outside for stealing gold. The boys dug it.
Yosemite was incredible!!!! The moment we hit the park and we saw El Capitan and the Falls I knew I was in love. We checked into our tents in Curry Village and just messed around the rest of the day and evening. It was so gorgeous. Smelled like pine and sitting in rocking chairs on a porch made my soul sing. We met a few families from France and Germany.
It was so fun staying in the big commercial tents. We even got an accessible one which made AC really happy. He could fly around the village in his power chair and we also took the hiking chair so we could access the inaccessible trails. Deedee and I decided we are definitely coming back for a week next year.
After ten was quiet time in the village and you could hear a pin drop. I’m definitely in my element here. I felt so incredibly peaceful and serene and had one of the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had. I think we all did. Even AC slept great, after all the bear stories.
The next morning after packing up we hiked up to see Yosemite falls. It was incredible and we were sad we hadn’t built in another couple days here. Our next stop was Vegas for tonight but the boys chose to stay in the park as long as we could and forego any shows or activities in Vegas. That turned out to be wise because we had no idea what was in store for the day ahead!
When I did the research, I saw it took 5 hours to get from Yosemite to Vegas. Well, that was from the edge of the park! It took us three hours to get through the park. It was an extraordinary drive but it was certainly made for a long day.
It got pretty interesting! Going through Death Valley was another travel moment we will never forget. I had no idea it would be so spectacular. But I also had no idea it was SO windy and steep and that we would need to go so slow. We came down 11,000 feet to Sea level. It was a trip! There were sand dunes everywhere…it was so silently beautiful. At one point though, the brakes were slick and stinking, we were low on gas and we were sure we had missed our tiny turn off. Things got a bit stressful and everyone got a little short with one another. We were so excited to find a gas station/oasis in the middle of nowhere. We fueled up and found out we were actually on track, it was just taking way longer than planned.
AC was a total trouper and Oliver kept pointing out all the good things every time Deedee and I got a little bit negative. Once again, not the most comfortable part of the trip, but one everyone will remember forever. We played would you rather and laughed for hours. As Oliver pointed out, it’s been great family time.
We got into Vegas super late and very exhausted! We decided to end our long crazy day Vegas style and ordered up some decadent room service. It was a great conclusion to a pinnacle part of the trip.
I thought about how everything in our lives go, when it gets a little rough we just slow down and take our time. Whether it’s physically carrying AC or getting through something really uncomfortable emotionally, we just take one step at a time, rest and reboot when necessary. Once we are on the other side, it all looks very different. There isn’t anything we can’t do when we tackle it that way.
Sunday, July 12, 2015
DAY FIVE- SAN FRANSICO
Driving into the city was beautiful. Traffic was no fun but we made it down the embarcadero and met up with one of my nearest and dearest, Ryan, who has been for about 28 years. We had a fabulous lunch upstairs at the Franciscan overlooking the piers- yellowtail, crab dip, calamari and clam chowder in big sourdough bowls. Delish!
Walking around Pier 39 wasn’t super fun as it was too crowded. I wanted the boys to see the golden gate bridge but the traffic on it was hellacious so we hopped on a cruise around the bay. The only place the chair could go was in the downstairs of the boat so we carried AC to the top for some gorgeous views of Alcatraz and the bridge. Lots of beautiful parasails blowing around the bay. It was pretty spectacular seeing the bridge from underneath it.
After we left the pier we went to check into the hotel. Ok, well it was supposed to be a hotel. It was much closer to a hostel, shared bathroom and all. At first it was a bit unsettling. Deedee and I couldn’t stop laughing ‘cuz it was such a divergence from all the other places we had stayed the whole trip. It sat right on the edge of China town with a “massage” parlor next to it. It was not at all what was pitched on the internet.....they have a fabulous web designer. Once we got over the initial concerns, we decided it was going to be very late at night if we tried to find a new place, so we decided to take it as just part of the adventure.
As we walked down the street, we realized we were also on the edge of Little Italy, so in short we had an excellent dinner in a very quaint bistro. The boys had fun with all the crazy sights and sounds. AC almost wrecked his chair when some of the lovely ladies came out of one the nearby businesses scantily clad. It was pretty funny seeing his eyes as big as they got and even more exciting hearing my boys philosophically debate the difference between a stripper and an exotic dancer.
As we all lay trying to ignore the mardi gras of sounds traveling up from the street below, we lay listening to Oliver’s hilarious commentary on the events unfolding throughout the night. We all laughed and laughed and as awful of a choice as it was, it will definitely be a memorable part of the trip. Perhaps, one I will probably never live down, but none the less, remembered forever.
As I lay there trying to fall asleep, I pretended I was in some exotic country, you know, like Bangkok, and thought about how compelled I feel to always find the silver lining. I think that’s because deep in my heart, I know the truth…..all those less than perfect experiences we share now, may in fact, someday be ones we wish we had back. And whenever I find myself rushing through something because it’s not ideal, I remind myself that when I look back, these days will most likely be the best days of my life. For that,I am very grateful for the consciousness this journey has brought me. I am awake and I'm not going to miss a thing.
Walking around Pier 39 wasn’t super fun as it was too crowded. I wanted the boys to see the golden gate bridge but the traffic on it was hellacious so we hopped on a cruise around the bay. The only place the chair could go was in the downstairs of the boat so we carried AC to the top for some gorgeous views of Alcatraz and the bridge. Lots of beautiful parasails blowing around the bay. It was pretty spectacular seeing the bridge from underneath it.
After we left the pier we went to check into the hotel. Ok, well it was supposed to be a hotel. It was much closer to a hostel, shared bathroom and all. At first it was a bit unsettling. Deedee and I couldn’t stop laughing ‘cuz it was such a divergence from all the other places we had stayed the whole trip. It sat right on the edge of China town with a “massage” parlor next to it. It was not at all what was pitched on the internet.....they have a fabulous web designer. Once we got over the initial concerns, we decided it was going to be very late at night if we tried to find a new place, so we decided to take it as just part of the adventure.
As we walked down the street, we realized we were also on the edge of Little Italy, so in short we had an excellent dinner in a very quaint bistro. The boys had fun with all the crazy sights and sounds. AC almost wrecked his chair when some of the lovely ladies came out of one the nearby businesses scantily clad. It was pretty funny seeing his eyes as big as they got and even more exciting hearing my boys philosophically debate the difference between a stripper and an exotic dancer.
As we all lay trying to ignore the mardi gras of sounds traveling up from the street below, we lay listening to Oliver’s hilarious commentary on the events unfolding throughout the night. We all laughed and laughed and as awful of a choice as it was, it will definitely be a memorable part of the trip. Perhaps, one I will probably never live down, but none the less, remembered forever.
As I lay there trying to fall asleep, I pretended I was in some exotic country, you know, like Bangkok, and thought about how compelled I feel to always find the silver lining. I think that’s because deep in my heart, I know the truth…..all those less than perfect experiences we share now, may in fact, someday be ones we wish we had back. And whenever I find myself rushing through something because it’s not ideal, I remind myself that when I look back, these days will most likely be the best days of my life. For that,I am very grateful for the consciousness this journey has brought me. I am awake and I'm not going to miss a thing.
Saturday, July 11, 2015
DAY FOUR- PACIFIC GROVE
Another great day. Hung out in Monterey at the aquarium and had lunch on Cannery Row at Bubba Gump’s. The boys were great and it was fun to watch DeeDee navigate the crowds with AC. She’s become a pretty fierce advocate for him. It warmed my heart and made me chuckle as she sternly taught all the little kids how to get out of his way. Patience is always the theme whenever you go somewhere like that with a wheelchair.
I have found if you are in no hurry and have no expectations, you save yourself a ton of aggravation. It took a long time to learn this and I got it from AC. He taught me patience. As those around him get frustrated for him, he smiles and stays very calm and at ease. Once in a while he gets frustrated but he sees it as an opportunity to make all those around him laugh. He foregoes every opportunity to take some unaware person out with his 375lb chair. He waits patiently all day for others to go first through doorways and for abled people to take his turn on the elevator. As I find myself being impatient and wanting to let someone have it, I look to him for guidance. He introduces the notion that while we wait, it’s just more time to spend talking about something fun or laughing at the insanity of others pushing to get ahead. He waits for drinks, food, to go to the restroom. He waits for us to answer his annoying bell to get him needed items, join conversations and now even to roll over in bed. It’s humbling to see his grace and kept me in check today as children climbed over him to watch the sea otters get fed as their parents rudely cheer them on.
Last night had to be one of my all-time favorite nights ever. We are staying just blocks from the beach so we decided to pass on sitting in another restaurant for dinner. Instead we hit the traders Joes, and decided to have a sunset picnic on the beach. That turned out to be the wisest vacation plan ever made. WOW. I’m a writer and I couldn’t possibly find the words to describe the serenity and beauty of that sunset meal.
We had cheese, crackers, sausages, grapes, bread and chocolates. It was awesome! I got Deedee a nice bottle of Petite Syrah and watched her enjoy that. After years of sobriety (yesterday was the 6 year mark), I still can appreciate how wonderful it must have tasted during that colorful sunset all the while being totally comfortable with knowing that time has long passed for me. The boys loved the evening as much as we did and the laughter and conversation warmed our hearts as we watched the waves crash and spray over the jagged rocks. A memory I will treasure forever.
I have found if you are in no hurry and have no expectations, you save yourself a ton of aggravation. It took a long time to learn this and I got it from AC. He taught me patience. As those around him get frustrated for him, he smiles and stays very calm and at ease. Once in a while he gets frustrated but he sees it as an opportunity to make all those around him laugh. He foregoes every opportunity to take some unaware person out with his 375lb chair. He waits patiently all day for others to go first through doorways and for abled people to take his turn on the elevator. As I find myself being impatient and wanting to let someone have it, I look to him for guidance. He introduces the notion that while we wait, it’s just more time to spend talking about something fun or laughing at the insanity of others pushing to get ahead. He waits for drinks, food, to go to the restroom. He waits for us to answer his annoying bell to get him needed items, join conversations and now even to roll over in bed. It’s humbling to see his grace and kept me in check today as children climbed over him to watch the sea otters get fed as their parents rudely cheer them on.
Last night had to be one of my all-time favorite nights ever. We are staying just blocks from the beach so we decided to pass on sitting in another restaurant for dinner. Instead we hit the traders Joes, and decided to have a sunset picnic on the beach. That turned out to be the wisest vacation plan ever made. WOW. I’m a writer and I couldn’t possibly find the words to describe the serenity and beauty of that sunset meal.
We had cheese, crackers, sausages, grapes, bread and chocolates. It was awesome! I got Deedee a nice bottle of Petite Syrah and watched her enjoy that. After years of sobriety (yesterday was the 6 year mark), I still can appreciate how wonderful it must have tasted during that colorful sunset all the while being totally comfortable with knowing that time has long passed for me. The boys loved the evening as much as we did and the laughter and conversation warmed our hearts as we watched the waves crash and spray over the jagged rocks. A memory I will treasure forever.
Friday, July 10, 2015
DAY THREE- BIG SUR COASTLINE
What an incredible day! I have done that drive several times but never with the new fresh eyes of my boys. Again, they are such great travelers. Curious, fun and no complaining. None. With occasional stretching AC did great in his chair and just kicked it back every so often to get some additional circulation going. The one thing he didn't have to stretch was the huge smile he had all day. And I only had to ask Oliver twice to put his phone away and join the party but that is only because he has just secured his first official "girlfriend" so apparently there's lots to discuss with her. Not bad though for dragging teenagers from site to sight to see/sea.
We stopped for breakfast at Pismo Beach. The boys were so excited we could drive right on to the beach. There weren’t a bunch of dune buggies like I’ve seen before but there were a few and the boys loved it. AC got his wheelchair stuck but we had the hiking chair so no worries!
After winding up the highway awhile, we stopped to check out the elephant seals which of course was a blast. Huge loud lazy seals laying around everywhere. That was super fun. We saw whales breaching along the Big Sur Coastline and the boys were pretty wowed by the scenery, curvy roads and bridges.
Most of the day, Deedee drove which was great. I can’t help myself but draw the obvious parallel about how nice it is when you can let go enough to sit back and enjoy the ride, something I have gotten so much better at over the years. There is such a sense of relief when you aren’t in charge and don’t have the weight of running the universe on your shoulders. However, I’m not completely Zen in that arena considering I had to hop back behind the wheel when the super curvy turns started. But I’m certainly getting better.
We had a lovely dinner and walk through the town of Carmel. The boys feasted on Salmon and Steak while Dee and I enjoyed some Sea Bass and Lobster Ravioli. Next stop was our cute little accessible cottage in Pacific Grove out on the 17 mile Drive. I can’t even begin to tell you how at peace I am with the sea air, roaring whitecaps and beautiful cypress trees hanging off the edges of the jagged cliffs. It’s absolute heaven and anytime I get the least bit antsy, I am easily reminded we will never have this day back. I continue to approach these days as if I came back in time on purpose to specifically to experience this day exactly this way. And with that, I’ll be sleeping like a baby in the cool ocean breeze in no time.
We stopped for breakfast at Pismo Beach. The boys were so excited we could drive right on to the beach. There weren’t a bunch of dune buggies like I’ve seen before but there were a few and the boys loved it. AC got his wheelchair stuck but we had the hiking chair so no worries!
After winding up the highway awhile, we stopped to check out the elephant seals which of course was a blast. Huge loud lazy seals laying around everywhere. That was super fun. We saw whales breaching along the Big Sur Coastline and the boys were pretty wowed by the scenery, curvy roads and bridges.
Most of the day, Deedee drove which was great. I can’t help myself but draw the obvious parallel about how nice it is when you can let go enough to sit back and enjoy the ride, something I have gotten so much better at over the years. There is such a sense of relief when you aren’t in charge and don’t have the weight of running the universe on your shoulders. However, I’m not completely Zen in that arena considering I had to hop back behind the wheel when the super curvy turns started. But I’m certainly getting better.
We had a lovely dinner and walk through the town of Carmel. The boys feasted on Salmon and Steak while Dee and I enjoyed some Sea Bass and Lobster Ravioli. Next stop was our cute little accessible cottage in Pacific Grove out on the 17 mile Drive. I can’t even begin to tell you how at peace I am with the sea air, roaring whitecaps and beautiful cypress trees hanging off the edges of the jagged cliffs. It’s absolute heaven and anytime I get the least bit antsy, I am easily reminded we will never have this day back. I continue to approach these days as if I came back in time on purpose to specifically to experience this day exactly this way. And with that, I’ll be sleeping like a baby in the cool ocean breeze in no time.
Thursday, July 9, 2015
DAY TWO- CITY OF ANGELS
Today we started off one the PCH HWY and drove from Laguna up to Huntington Beach to see our dear friend Matty. Beautiful breakfast on the beach. He was the awesome dude who took the pictures for us during the Grand Canyon trip. He’s just one of the many people that incredible journey brought into our lives. We had a great breakfast and walked the pier. Lovely.
Next stop was our close friend’s house in West Hills CA for a day with their two boys. The boys are in heaven playing with their buddies. The Ferrante’s have been our friends/family way before we ever had the boys. It felt a bit like coming home.
Today I thought about “real love”. I had a couple moments today where I was completely overwhelmed with real love and friendship.
First off, I wanted to squeeze in a visit with one of my absolute besties, Ashley. As the morning got later and later and we hadn’t left Huntington, the boys got more anxious about getting to their friends. I called her up and explained what was transpiring. Her response without hesitation was “this is your trip, you relax and just do what you want”. And she meant it! She basically said she would love to see us but what was more important was for me to enjoy the trip and not kill myself to make someone else happy. In that moment, my heart felt so full. I thought to myself… that’s love. That’s real friendship. Wanting what’s best for your friend. Real love to me, is wanting someone to be happy and wanting what’s best for them even when it doesn’t include me or my needs.
As I pondered this thought, I looked over at DeeDee. This is where I first learned this. People always wonder how DeeDee and I can be so close given she’s Chris’ (my wasbund) fiancée. That’s how it started. When Chris and I got divorced, it was hard. The hardest thing ever. But I love Chris. He’s my family. And because I truly love him, I want what’s best for him… she’s best for him. Simple as that. And if I wanted to teach my children to give love as if they will never run out, I had to show them this example. And now I really love her. A lot.
Next we arrived at our friend’s house to find our dear friend “Uncle Drew” had built ramps all throughout his house for AC. Once again, the tears welled and the heart warmed. I think having a child like Anthony forces us to open our hearts and look past our egos. One of the greatest gifts of this deal is that I have learned at the end of the day, we are all the same. We all need the same things (to feel loved, to be heard, to have purpose). And you can give without worrying that you will run out, because the more you give, the more you make. And if think when you operate from that premise, it’s pretty easy to see lots and lots of love all around. It may sound corny, but isn’t it great?
The kids swam and had a blast. We all just hung, laughed and had and warm beautiful evening full of connection. Everyone took turns without a word helping Anthony. Another amazing memorable day on the adventure!
Next stop was our close friend’s house in West Hills CA for a day with their two boys. The boys are in heaven playing with their buddies. The Ferrante’s have been our friends/family way before we ever had the boys. It felt a bit like coming home.
Today I thought about “real love”. I had a couple moments today where I was completely overwhelmed with real love and friendship.
First off, I wanted to squeeze in a visit with one of my absolute besties, Ashley. As the morning got later and later and we hadn’t left Huntington, the boys got more anxious about getting to their friends. I called her up and explained what was transpiring. Her response without hesitation was “this is your trip, you relax and just do what you want”. And she meant it! She basically said she would love to see us but what was more important was for me to enjoy the trip and not kill myself to make someone else happy. In that moment, my heart felt so full. I thought to myself… that’s love. That’s real friendship. Wanting what’s best for your friend. Real love to me, is wanting someone to be happy and wanting what’s best for them even when it doesn’t include me or my needs.
As I pondered this thought, I looked over at DeeDee. This is where I first learned this. People always wonder how DeeDee and I can be so close given she’s Chris’ (my wasbund) fiancée. That’s how it started. When Chris and I got divorced, it was hard. The hardest thing ever. But I love Chris. He’s my family. And because I truly love him, I want what’s best for him… she’s best for him. Simple as that. And if I wanted to teach my children to give love as if they will never run out, I had to show them this example. And now I really love her. A lot.
Next we arrived at our friend’s house to find our dear friend “Uncle Drew” had built ramps all throughout his house for AC. Once again, the tears welled and the heart warmed. I think having a child like Anthony forces us to open our hearts and look past our egos. One of the greatest gifts of this deal is that I have learned at the end of the day, we are all the same. We all need the same things (to feel loved, to be heard, to have purpose). And you can give without worrying that you will run out, because the more you give, the more you make. And if think when you operate from that premise, it’s pretty easy to see lots and lots of love all around. It may sound corny, but isn’t it great?
The kids swam and had a blast. We all just hung, laughed and had and warm beautiful evening full of connection. Everyone took turns without a word helping Anthony. Another amazing memorable day on the adventure!
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