Time to rock and roll!!!!! Emails out to the team. Check. 15 PB & J’s made. Check. Bags packed and gear organized. 20 oranges sliced and frozen, maps printed, contact lists sent out. Check. Check. Clothes laid out so we can dress and jump in the car while it’s still dark.
We love this!
The family’s eating carbs and chatting it up about all the logistics. Anthony is too excited to go to bed early but has to. Tomorrow will be just under 20 miles in hopefully less than 10 hours. I’m taking my therapeutic dose of motrin. Chris and DeeDee fixed up his chair. Love and joy fills the air tonight.
Once again, just like the canyon, what comes to mind is being present. Taking in every minute…. this is what it’s all about.
Life is precarious for everyone. We have to be vigilant and open to what it’s trying to tell us.
Many of the parents in our community live with one foot in their son’s grave. Understandably so, I have too. But Anthony has taught me that if I am living in the past pain of the diagnosis or the loss of my hopes and dreams of the way I thought it should go, or I’m living in fear of the future and what can happen next, then I’m NOT in reality.
And if I’m not in the reality of the present…..I might just miss the damn whole point.
Being awake is one of the greatest things I have gotten from this unexpected path. I can’t wait to see what tomorrow will bring. Whatever it is…. I will be there. And better yet, I will be surrounded by lots of folks I adore who will be sharing those very same moments...feeling every step of the way.
Friday, November 14, 2014
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Cultivating Trust on Holbert Trail
Sunday we practiced Holbert trail which is the last and most technical of the 4 peaks for this coming Saturday. What an amazing day. I guess if I had to pick a lesson or theme for this experience, I would have to focus on trust. This trail is harder than anything we have ever carried him on. It’s all rocks and for a hiker more of a scrambling situation than a trail. It’s slippery and takes grace to navigate on foot let alone carrying my son in a chair. I had to trust. And more importantly, Anthony had to trust.
As always, taking my lead from my kid, I got comfortable in the hands of our volunteers. I watched as they discussed who would do what, who would watch for what and when it got tricky, what steps were coming up when. There was a lot of exposure. He will need a helmet. And there were some times where he held his body funny trying to compensate for the positions they had him in. We will have to address that with more foam on the chair and carefully placed straps.
All in all, it was a beautifully cohesive experience. Watching the synergy that developed with each step was really a sight to see. Once again, I was reminded that we are stronger as a village and when I hog the responsibility and gravity of the extra work, I rob others of an amazing opportunity to give and by proxy, receive.
Watching Anthony speak and advocate during the hike as to what he needed was awesome. Watching him trust others to meet his needs was a reassurance that I will always have support and so will he. And more importantly, that he will navigate getting that support himself.
My wish for him is that he learn to get all his needs met, physically, emotionally and spiritually. There is apparently no shortage of folks around him for him to connect to for any one of those areas. Although there is much in his life he can’t control, experiences like this hopefully bring home the message to him, there is just as much in his life that he does have power over and he needs to take it.
To paraphrase the poem Invictus, he is the master of his fate, he is the captain of his soul. That lesson applies to me as well. There are so many times I feel so helpless when it comes to our life so I too have the choice to accept the things I cannot change, and pray for the courage to change the things I can. Giving my son opportunities to build trust for others not only empowers him but also helps him learn to be the captain of his life…… and I’m beyond grateful for all those who help support that.
As always, taking my lead from my kid, I got comfortable in the hands of our volunteers. I watched as they discussed who would do what, who would watch for what and when it got tricky, what steps were coming up when. There was a lot of exposure. He will need a helmet. And there were some times where he held his body funny trying to compensate for the positions they had him in. We will have to address that with more foam on the chair and carefully placed straps.
All in all, it was a beautifully cohesive experience. Watching the synergy that developed with each step was really a sight to see. Once again, I was reminded that we are stronger as a village and when I hog the responsibility and gravity of the extra work, I rob others of an amazing opportunity to give and by proxy, receive.
Watching Anthony speak and advocate during the hike as to what he needed was awesome. Watching him trust others to meet his needs was a reassurance that I will always have support and so will he. And more importantly, that he will navigate getting that support himself.
My wish for him is that he learn to get all his needs met, physically, emotionally and spiritually. There is apparently no shortage of folks around him for him to connect to for any one of those areas. Although there is much in his life he can’t control, experiences like this hopefully bring home the message to him, there is just as much in his life that he does have power over and he needs to take it.
To paraphrase the poem Invictus, he is the master of his fate, he is the captain of his soul. That lesson applies to me as well. There are so many times I feel so helpless when it comes to our life so I too have the choice to accept the things I cannot change, and pray for the courage to change the things I can. Giving my son opportunities to build trust for others not only empowers him but also helps him learn to be the captain of his life…… and I’m beyond grateful for all those who help support that.
Friday, November 7, 2014
Phoenix Summit Challenge, November 15. YES, that's next week.....
A few weeks ago I was asking Anthony if he wanted to do the Four Peaks Summit in Arizona. It’s an event where folks climb either 4 or 7 peaks in one day. Well, they had added an “accessible 4 peaks” where handicapped folks can participate and instead of doing the regular trails one can do an accessible path in front of the peaks. Daring Adventures called to see if Anthony wanted to do it since he missed last year due to nasty weather.
We just returned from a big trip kayaking through Glen Canyon for three days and camping so I felt like it was ok if he didn’t want to do it. So here’s how it goes down… “Hey AC, do you want to try the Four Peaks this year? They have accessible trails in front of the peaks so you can just stay in your wheelchair and do a modified version of the race”. His reply, spoken through his usual huge smile: “No Mom. I want the real ones. I want to climb the real ones, the real way”. Well, so much for knocking it out in his chair, scoring the kool t-shirt, and calling it a day.
So I looked it up. Anthony has trained me to never say no to his adventures without first doing my due diligence. Yep, 4 peaks in one day. That’s 20 miles of hiking plus loading then the driving from peak to peak. And one of the trails is dangerous and almost impossible to imagine getting his hiking chair up it. But as tradition would have it, I honored his request and put it out there to all the amazing friends we have accumulated from the canyon. I was certain I would hear that we were crazy. We were asking too much.
Even though many of our closest friends are out of town, we still had 12 carriers step up right away, several of them new. We have swapped out Squaw Peak (the crazy hard one) for another one of the seven summits so he will still summit 4 and it will still total 20 miles that day. We had to promise Anthony he will see the top of Squaw peak another day. The search and rescue guys are already talking about some “caterpillar” thing they will do to get him up there. But that will be better tackled on a day where that’s the only one we do. That will be safer for all.
When we got together to practice last week for the first time that old familiar feeling was back and everyone was so excited. We climbed Shaw Butte. It was tough and there were some new Phoenix firefighters that joined us. Totally glorious day that infected all! This Sunday we will be out practicing Holbert trail. It’s pretty technical and will really help us determine how much Anthony will be able to take in one day. I have NO idea how we are going to pull this off so fast but I know we will. I just know it.
As our dear friend Tina said when she sent an email to all her hard-core hiker friends looking for volunteers…. “carrying Anthony will change your life”. I know I have certainly found that to be true, but then again, I am his Mom. Carrying him for me is a privilege of the highest kind.
We just returned from a big trip kayaking through Glen Canyon for three days and camping so I felt like it was ok if he didn’t want to do it. So here’s how it goes down… “Hey AC, do you want to try the Four Peaks this year? They have accessible trails in front of the peaks so you can just stay in your wheelchair and do a modified version of the race”. His reply, spoken through his usual huge smile: “No Mom. I want the real ones. I want to climb the real ones, the real way”. Well, so much for knocking it out in his chair, scoring the kool t-shirt, and calling it a day.
So I looked it up. Anthony has trained me to never say no to his adventures without first doing my due diligence. Yep, 4 peaks in one day. That’s 20 miles of hiking plus loading then the driving from peak to peak. And one of the trails is dangerous and almost impossible to imagine getting his hiking chair up it. But as tradition would have it, I honored his request and put it out there to all the amazing friends we have accumulated from the canyon. I was certain I would hear that we were crazy. We were asking too much.
Even though many of our closest friends are out of town, we still had 12 carriers step up right away, several of them new. We have swapped out Squaw Peak (the crazy hard one) for another one of the seven summits so he will still summit 4 and it will still total 20 miles that day. We had to promise Anthony he will see the top of Squaw peak another day. The search and rescue guys are already talking about some “caterpillar” thing they will do to get him up there. But that will be better tackled on a day where that’s the only one we do. That will be safer for all.
When we got together to practice last week for the first time that old familiar feeling was back and everyone was so excited. We climbed Shaw Butte. It was tough and there were some new Phoenix firefighters that joined us. Totally glorious day that infected all! This Sunday we will be out practicing Holbert trail. It’s pretty technical and will really help us determine how much Anthony will be able to take in one day. I have NO idea how we are going to pull this off so fast but I know we will. I just know it.
As our dear friend Tina said when she sent an email to all her hard-core hiker friends looking for volunteers…. “carrying Anthony will change your life”. I know I have certainly found that to be true, but then again, I am his Mom. Carrying him for me is a privilege of the highest kind.
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