FINAL DAY- VEGAS BABY!

AC had a rough night tossing and turning and asking for things every two minutes for over an hour. I was so frustrated, tired and worried about him I shed a few tears to let some steam off the pot. He put his hand on my back in the dark and said "sorry Mom". It was such a precious moment. This morning, as usual, he woke up grinning ear to ear. Poor guy has been so flexible and adventurous but it’s time for his own bed again. Luckily his smile is so infectious that we all caught it and started the day off with renewed vigor.

We promised we would hit the pool for a while and let his body unhinge before we started our final trek home. He’s been looking forward to the bikini’s the whole trip. The boys have also never had a Vegas buffet so we decided to introduce that bit of gluttony to them. It was fun and soon we were on our way down the road towards Phoenix.

The boys have been amazing in the car. No movies, games or computers. Just listening to music and talking for days. What a total treat for me as a Mom. I hope they look back and have all the memories I have hoped for. I feel so blessed that I was able to take them. My wonderful boss/boyfriend supported me taking the time off and thanks to my new job I was able to afford the trip. All the stars lined up and it was all I had hoped for. I feel incredibly blessed.

My life is intense. And it can be very challenging a lot of the time. I’m not down playing how big some of the things we face as a family are, however, I have also learned that it takes just as much energy to be miserable as it does to be grateful. For every single unfair thing I can think of to feel like a victim, there’s a gift or something great that’s happened to balance it out. I think you need both. And I find that my level of happiness is exactly equal to the attachment I have to either.

When I can stand by and watch life with all its colorful characters and dramas as if I’m an audience member rather than taking it all personal, I’m fascinated and full of joy and curiosity. When things get tough and I can stay in the supporting role rather than the director running the show, I see that things work out and keep changing even without my permission or guidance. I still struggle to stay in this space but at least now I feel it immediately when I’m not and can make corrections to get back on course.

This trip was so beautiful. Even the imperfections. Watching my boys navigate the joys and challenges of the last couple months, I realize it’s possible that when I look back, this just may be the summer…..the summer our boys became men. I could write for days and never be able to express how privileged I feel to be a part of that.